off with my hair but where goes my mind; my dreams are uneasy and my scalp itches; the moon is nearly full.
Saturday, November 24, 2012
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<title>unbelievable post</title>
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<div align="justify">Brutal, abs. unbelievably brutal.
Merciless. I am in the oh second week of a recurring dream
where I am trying to finish this last deck, working on various
parts of the railing. If hours of my rem time devoted to
redoing this agonizing work, going back over all the details and
thoughts, uncertainties wasn't bad enough, this morning's had me
tutoring my son, my 2.5 y.o. son how to do this. And I mean
things were just going to pieces all over the place. It was
aweful.<br>
<br>
He's not wearing pajamas any longer, yet he still completely kicks
off his covers, laying there literally naked in the darkness and
this is Colorado wintertime with a window cracked for
freshness. Brutal. Mega doses of Vit. D seem to help
his mood(!) but I'm so scattered I could say(!) He's mega
smart, totally alone, and utterly dependent.<br>
<br>
There are so many things going on with me I decided to try to
write some of it down; really as a writing practice, 20 minutes a
day or<br>
some such. I imagine that that might help, put some
contextual lines over my wild map or whatever and that sounds like
bull shit now at 4 in the morning; I'm talking to my self and
laughing and I live in a community house; I'm in the kitching
crying out for half and half at four in the morning with people
snoozing away five feet above my head. Of course, they live
here too so they're not expecting much I would say.<br>
<br>
Ok, there's 30 minutes. Wish me luck!<br>
<br>
<br>
</div>
</body>
</html>
<title>unbelievable post</title>
</head>
<body alink="#EE0000" bgcolor="#000000" link="#0000EE" text="#ffffcc"
vlink="#551A8B">
<div align="justify">Brutal, abs. unbelievably brutal.
Merciless. I am in the oh second week of a recurring dream
where I am trying to finish this last deck, working on various
parts of the railing. If hours of my rem time devoted to
redoing this agonizing work, going back over all the details and
thoughts, uncertainties wasn't bad enough, this morning's had me
tutoring my son, my 2.5 y.o. son how to do this. And I mean
things were just going to pieces all over the place. It was
aweful.<br>
<br>
He's not wearing pajamas any longer, yet he still completely kicks
off his covers, laying there literally naked in the darkness and
this is Colorado wintertime with a window cracked for
freshness. Brutal. Mega doses of Vit. D seem to help
his mood(!) but I'm so scattered I could say(!) He's mega
smart, totally alone, and utterly dependent.<br>
<br>
There are so many things going on with me I decided to try to
write some of it down; really as a writing practice, 20 minutes a
day or<br>
some such. I imagine that that might help, put some
contextual lines over my wild map or whatever and that sounds like
bull shit now at 4 in the morning; I'm talking to my self and
laughing and I live in a community house; I'm in the kitching
crying out for half and half at four in the morning with people
snoozing away five feet above my head. Of course, they live
here too so they're not expecting much I would say.<br>
<br>
Ok, there's 30 minutes. Wish me luck!<br>
<br>
<br>
</div>
</body>
</html>
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